In my very near future

"HammerheadFistpunch" (hammerheadfistpunch) 02/11/2019 at 23:12 • Filed to: Rants, HP is the literal devil.

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HP - You are the literal worst. It’s not enough that the cartridges are a total scam, but the second I buy the large expensive cartridges ($80+ worth of ink) the ENTIRE printer fails.

These are brand new genuine HP cartridges. I did the troubleshooting and cleaning and other faff then I call up support (holy hell with those guys...) “yes your printer has served you very well and now it is broken can I interest you in an upgrade?”

“The service life of a printer is 5-6 years and you bought it in 2013 so its served you well and its time for a new one.”

Come to think of it...it died EXACTLY 6 years later. Also the scanner sympathy failed at the exact same time? yeah.

I told the fella - “Honestly...I will never buy another HP product so long as I live, they have been nothing but utter disappointments and this was the nail in the coffin.”

Looks like I’ve got some pistol fodder next time I go out shooting.

lone_liberal > HammerheadFistpunch 02/11/2019 at 23:44

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I have purged HP inkjet printers from my life, both at home and work, and I couldn’t be happier. Brother laser  printers forever!

Tristan > HammerheadFistpunch 02/11/2019 at 23:57

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HP = Horse Poop

I’ve had my amazing HP laptop for about 2.5 years now. I love it, but a few months ago the motherboard failed for no particular reason. Now I have trust issues.

RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire > lone_liberal 02/11/2019 at 23:58

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I have 2 Brother laser printers are the cartridges are 8 !!!! bucks each from Amazon.

His Stigness > lone_liberal 02/12/2019 at 00:13

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I have yet more evidence that the dumb owner of the smog shop is dumb. The office has an HP printer which is a pain in my ass. I said we should get a Brother but then he says HP are actually the best.

OKay, sure dude.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Tristan 02/12/2019 at 00:29

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I too have an HP laptop. It's held up better than my Toshiba, but the keyboard is dying and honestly it's slower and slower everyday. Will randomly shut down and restart with no prompt or freezing.

lone_liberal > His Stigness 02/12/2019 at 00:30

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The old HP lasers like the III, IIIsi, 5 and 5si were built like tanks and we're great. That was a looong time ago.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > HammerheadFistpunch 02/12/2019 at 00:32

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After several dead HP’s I bought a Brother 10 years ago and it still works great.  

facw > RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire 02/12/2019 at 00:38

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I had a cheap Brother that I eventually got rid of because it jammed all the time (not that this has never been a problem with HP, Laserjet 5L and 6L, I’m looking at you). Before that happened though I ran out of toner, and was able to just tape over the transparent windows on the toner cartridge it used for checking toner level. It kept on printing happily probably for as many pages after as before.

Had a Canon, but had to leave that behind in Houston because I didn’t have space, and making special arrangements for a $65 printer wasn’t worth it. Now I have another Brother. Regardless, all three lasers have been way better than any inkjet I’ve owned.

RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire > facw 02/12/2019 at 01:13

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Brother HL-2170W? Mine was jamming on every sheet because a sponge pad had become sticky inside. I took it apart and removed the pad, and it’s still working today.

facw > RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire 02/12/2019 at 01:20

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An HL-2140:

I assume that’s pretty similar. Currently I have a HL- L2395DW:

Not as compact, but having the scanner is handy, and having double-sided printing is great.

Longtime Lurker > HammerheadFistpunch 02/12/2019 at 01:21

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My Canon just crapped out after 13 years.

His Stigness > lone_liberal 02/12/2019 at 01:25

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You mean he hasn’t kept up with the times? I’m shocked.

jimz > HammerheadFistpunch 02/12/2019 at 03:02

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I’ve basically sent inkjet printers to hell. ESPECIALLY HP.

I need color printing so rarely that I got a Brother (B&W) laser printer several years ago. I’m still on the “starter” toner cartridge. Which, by the way, has been giving me “low toner” warnings for over a year now. Still prints fine.

TL;DR, fuck inkjets.

CB > HammerheadFistpunch 02/12/2019 at 03:29

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A printer only lasts six years? That sounds bogus.

Boxer_4 > lone_liberal 02/12/2019 at 04:18

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My 4M+ from 1995 still works well, and its former life was as a printer in the science wing of a college - it has well over 100,000 pages  on it. The old inkjet printers (720C, 895CXi) were also really good.

I miss ‘90s HP, when they were actually decent!

adamftw > HammerheadFistpunch 02/12/2019 at 06:39

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LAZER

Matt Nichelson > HammerheadFistpunch 02/12/2019 at 07:55

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Like some of the others have mentioned, I would recommend a Brother for a replacement. I've had a few over the years and never had any problems. The cartridges (last time I checked at least) tend to be cheaper than some of the others as well. 

ateamfan42 > HammerheadFistpunch 02/12/2019 at 08:35

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It’s not enough that the cartridges are a total scam,

The scam IS the business model. No printer company was ever in the business of selling ink-jet printers. They sold you the printer at a loss so they could sell you ink at an astonishing profit.

It is the same business model as razor blades and K-cup coffee. Sell the appliance for next to nothing (or even better GIVE the office a coffee machine), and then make serious bank selling consumables.

Urambo Tauro > HammerheadFistpunch 02/12/2019 at 09:29

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“yes your printer has served you very well and now it is broken can I interest you in an upgrade?”

Only if that upgrade has a service life of 10+ years.

Censored > HammerheadFistpunch 02/12/2019 at 09:36

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Oh BROTHER.

Brickman > HammerheadFistpunch 02/12/2019 at 09:58

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I had a HP printer, it sucked, then got a Canon and it worked great, but replaced with a HP printer with touch screen!!! Had to reinstall the software every 2 months and I swear the ink was leaking somewhere.

Went back to Canon and couldn’ t be happier. In two years I only changed my ink once and its the individual color cartridges. Price isn’t too bad either.

Tristan > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/12/2019 at 13:25

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I, too, had a Toshiba previously. It was AWFUL.

MattHurting > HammerheadFistpunch 02/12/2019 at 15:10

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We had a 60" HP plotter at work and bought a bunch of ink cartridges so we wouldn’t be stuck without. Guess what? Those damn things expired after a year, so they were useless. Planned obsolescence pisses me off so much.

vicali > MattHurting 02/12/2019 at 16:58

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Cartridge expiration anxiety is real.

Plus print heads that dry out i f you don’ t plot enough..

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > HammerheadFistpunch 02/12/2019 at 17:29

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Just stay awake from inkjet printers in general. They are disposable and designed to be so. I used be responsible for support for over 1,000 printers for a major aerospace firm, and most of my problems involved those pieces of garbage. I cringed every time I found out that some department had purchased one. They are not designed to last, nor are they designed to be repaired. Spend the money on a laser printer, color or B&W - you’ll be much happier. And think about what you really need, not want, and for most people they really don’t need color.

I run a fancy Xerox 6505DN that I picked up for just $25 (still available new for $749) , and for the last three or four years it’s been telling me that the yellow toner is running low - that’s how little color printing I actually do. Use Costco for printing photos - it’s cheaper than doing it yourself and looks better than even a good laser.

I gave my parents my old Oki C5200. I got it for free because the previous owner thought he had to replace all four image drums at a cost higher than the price of a new color laser printer. But when I talked to him I found that it was just used for printing invoices for his business, and those were almost entirely in B&W with a little spot of red at the bottom. That told me that the drums had very little wear and really didn’t need to be replaced. I went into a maintenance menu and reset the counters and they’ve been using that printer without issue for eight or nine years now, albeit as a supplemental unit to their B&W multifunction unit.

And HP? They used to be good, for computers and printers, but they just make cheap shit now and are resting on their laurels. I do have an HP color laser and it’s a pain, but I temper my hatred of it by reminding myself that I only paid $0.59 for it. My last HP desktop was an annoying proprietary piece of crap and I was thankful when it died (the CPU, memory and drives transferred to a new build), and most of the notebooks I need to repair are made by you know who...

And speaking from years of experience, stay the hell away from Lexmark. They make HP look good, and that’s a tough thing to do. Follow the advice of others and get something by Brother - they have never let me down.